


The Kiss

by mean_whale



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Insecurity, M/M, Making Out, Mild Sexual Content, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Pining, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-31 02:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21046430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mean_whale/pseuds/mean_whale
Summary: Bokuto has had a massive crush on Kuroo for years, and he's certain that Kuroo has been flirting with him. But what happens when he decides to finally kiss Kuroo?





	1. Chapter 1

Kuroo looked preoccupied, staring into the distance as he shovelled food into his mouth. Bokuto watched this happen and wondered what was going on in that gorgeous head.

Oh, but he probably shouldn’t call Kuroo gorgeous. He shouldn’t accidentally get used to it, if it turned out that Kuroo didn’t see him the same way he saw Kuroo.

Bokuto was almost certain that Kuroo saw him the same way. They had been dancing around each other for nearly four years, and there was no way their friendship wasn’t developing into something deeper. It just happened very slowly. If at all.

Bokuto sighed and looked at his empty plate.

Some days he thought it was obvious that Kuroo was into him, that they were flirting for real, not just as a joke. On other days he thought it wasn’t quite as obvious. That Kuroo was just an easy-going person and comfortable with Bokuto because they were best friends and nothing more.

Even back in high school, he had sometimes caught Kuroo watching, then quickly turn away when he looked Kuroo’s way. He had seen Kuroo’s eyes slip down to his lips when they were talking. He had felt the way Kuroo’s breath was hot on his neck when they were sitting close together and Kuroo was explaining something to him, reaching from behind him to show him something on the computer.

But then, every time it seemed that things were finally going to develop, he had been mistaken. It was hard to tell what Kuroo was thinking in these situations. If Kuroo was into him, if Kuroo felt the same way, wouldn’t he have acted already?

“Hey,” Kuroo said.

Bokuto turned to look at him.

“You’ve got something…” Kuroo said, then extended a hand towards Bokuto’s face.

Bokuto’s cheeks were on fire when Kuroo’s fingertips touched the corner of his lips. What was going on? And before Bokuto could get his thoughts into any more of a tangle, Kuroo pulled away.

“Rice on your cheek,” Kuroo said.

And sucked the grain of rice into his mouth from his thumb. Bokuto swallowed.

They were looking into each other’s eyes. It wasn’t unusual, although it didn’t happen very often. Each time, Bokuto had been certain that Kuroo was going to kiss him, and each time, the moment had passed without a thing happening between them.

Maybe, Bokuto thought, he should take matters into his own hands and kiss Kuroo first.

Kuroo’s lips were slightly parted. He looked like he was expecting to be kissed, like this was it, this was the moment that shifted their entire friendship.

Bokuto leaned forward, slowly, but Kuroo didn’t pull away.

Kuroo’s phone chimed, and Kuroo immediately turned his head to look at it. Bokuto was disappointed to find that he hadn’t managed to get even close to Kuroo. This would end up being one more of those situations that almost went there but not enough to be remembered as a defining moment.

“I need to go,” Kuroo said. “That damn paper is kicking my ass. But I’ll see you later. Outside the main building, right?”

“Yeah,” Bokuto said. “See you later.”

Kuroo waved at him, then walked away and didn’t look back.

Bokuto sighed and slumped over the table.

“That was intense,” someone said, causing Bokuto to jump enough to rattle the entire table.

Bokuto turned to look at Suga, who seemed to have materialised from thin air. Suga sat down on the chair where Kuroo had sat.

“Are you two actually dating?” Suga asked. “You’ve never mentioned it, but it’s pretty obvious there’s something going on there.”

Bokuto sighed again.

“We’re not dating,” he said at the table.

“Hey, I’m cool with it,” Suga said.

Bokuto leaned his cheek on a hand before turning to look at Suga again.

“Didn’t think you weren’t,” he said. “We just really aren’t dating.”

Suga squinted at him.

“Are you sure?” he said, but then smiled and pat Bokuto’s shoulder. “Judging by your reaction you would at least want to be dating him, right?”

Bokuto nodded.

“It’s ridiculous,” he said. “I just don’t know what he’s thinking.”

Suga smiled fondly.

“From what I just witnessed,” he said, “you two are equally smitten with each other. You should do something about it if it’s making you this sad.”

Bokuto hummed.

“It’s kind of scary,” he said quietly.

“I know,” Suga said. “But I promise, almost totally guarantee, that he’s going to be happy you took the first step. Maybe he feels just as uncertain as you do.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Bokuto said.

And he did. It was the only thing on his mind for the rest of the day, even distracting him from his classes. When he and Kuroo met after their last lectures, they headed to Bokuto’s apartment. He was trying to discreetly watch Kuroo for signs of anything, but Kuroo seemed to act just as usual.

They settled around Bokuto’s coffee table, and Kuroo immediately got his laptop out to start working. Bokuto got his books out and decided that he was going to put Suga’s advice away for the moment and focus on his studies. He would have time to think about Kuroo at another point.

Quite soon after starting, Bokuto made the mistake of glancing up to look at Kuroo, and never recovered. He was now watching Kuroo work. Kuroo was staring at his laptop, a small frown of concentration on his face, and it was the cutest thing Bokuto had ever seen. Although, to be fair, Kuroo did many things that were immensely cute to Bokuto, and each time it seemed like nothing would top it. Each time Bokuto was wrong.

Although, sometimes Kuroo wasn’t cute, he was handsome. The way his eyelashes cast a shadow over his cheekbones when he looked down on a sunny day made Bokuto want to touch the shadows of his face, explore the edges of him. The way Kuroo’s eyes looked on those days, a bit dark and mysterious, a bit friendly and open… Bokuto would do almost anything to know if Kuroo really was interested in him.

Kuroo sighed and looked up from his computer. Bokuto didn’t turn away. He let Kuroo see him watching, let him see how his eyes were raking over his body, his face, stopping to his lips.

“Getting tired?” Kuroo asked.

And on his face, he had that smile that drove Bokuto absolutely wild.

“No,” he said.

And then said nothing else.

He leaned forward, forward, almost right into Kuroo’s lap, and pressed their lips together. The kiss had been a long time coming, it should have happened ages ago, and Bokuto let his eyes slip shut as he finally felt the soft press of Kuroo against his mouth. His heart was doing somersaults in his chest, his stomach was flipping, he was finally kissing Kuroo, and then…

And then Kuroo placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed. Bokuto was so surprised he went back without a fight, eyes now wide open and fixed on Kuroo’s face. Kuroo’s small frown was back, and there was a flash of regret in his eyes.

“Bokuto,” he said, and his voice was low and dark. “Don’t. Let’s just finish our homework, okay?”

Bokuto stared for a moment. He watched Kuroo’s lips make those words, but he couldn’t believe it.

He had gotten it wrong?

“Y- Yeah,” he said and cleared his throat.

He sat back to his place, blinking stupidly. He could no longer look at Kuroo, instead stared at his book intently.

“Yeah, sorry,” he said.

Kuroo didn’t say anything, simply turned back to his computer and started typing again.

Bokuto swallowed heavily, then glanced at Kuroo from his peripheral vision to see if he had heard. Kuroo’s keyboard was clacking. Bokuto’s entire face was on fire. He couldn’t believe he had read Kuroo so wrong.

Where had he gone wrong? At what point had he interpreted friendship as something more?

Maybe he was more socially incompetent than he had thought. Maybe he kept reading people wrong. It was a wonder he had any friends if he couldn’t properly tell what they meant, what they were saying with their actions.

What if he had been making Kuroo uncomfortable with his own flirting? Maybe Kuroo hadn’t had the heart to tell him to stop until now that he took things too far.

He should have asked.

Who kisses someone without asking?

It was a miracle Kuroo hadn’t left immediately.

Bokuto glanced at Kuroo, who was reading something on his laptop, the familiar frown on his face. He didn’t look bothered, but then again, if Bokuto really was that bad at reading people, maybe Kuroo was uncomfortable, maybe Bokuto just couldn’t tell.

Bokuto’s mind was swirling, and he could no longer focus on his homework. He was pretty sure Kuroo noticed how he hadn’t turned the page even once over the past 30 minutes. He wanted to disappear. If only the floor would swallow him now, leave nothing behind, not even a memory of him.

“Oh crap,” Kuroo said, then yawned and stretched his arms. “I forgot to bring the charger. I guess this is all I’m going to get done for now.”

“Oh,” Bokuto said, trying to quickly reorient himself into a normal conversation. “Too bad.”

“I guess it’s getting late anyway,” Kuroo said and stood up. “I should head home.”

“Yeah,” Bokuto mumbled and looked back to his book.

At least they didn’t live together like they had discussed for a while. At least Kuroo had a home to return to, to be away from Bokuto.

Bokuto didn’t watch Kuroo pack his things, but he was uncomfortably aware of Kuroo’s presence in the same room with him. He was sitting stiffly in place, feeling like he was being unfair to Kuroo. Kuroo was the one who should feel uncomfortable, not him. He was the perpetrator, he had harassed Kuroo, and it was no wonder Kuroo had faked a reason to go home, to get far away from Bokuto.

“See you tomorrow,” Kuroo said.

“Yeah,” Bokuto breathed out.

He wanted to tell Kuroo it was okay, that he didn’t need to pretend to still feel okay about being around Bokuto.

But he remained quiet, listened to Kuroo leave, and when he was alone, he allowed himself to crumble. He slouched over the desk, over his books, face in his hands. His arms felt weak. He felt like crying but he didn’t deserve to cry. He had ruined everything because he was selfish.

He had known Kuroo since their first year in high school. They had immediately gotten along, they had quickly become best friends. They had spent countless hours together since then, and now Bokuto had decided to act on a stupid impulse that had ruined everything they had built together.

No, they hadn’t built anything together. That sounded like there had been something there, something that Bokuto had been so desperate to see he had managed to convince himself that he was right, that Kuroo really did look at him the same way he looked at Kuroo.

Could he even consider Kuroo his best friend if he knew him so little that he had mistaken friendliness as attraction? How many more things had he gotten wrong? Maybe Kuroo didn’t consider him his best friend at all. Maybe Kuroo had remained with him out of obligation or convenience. Maybe he should give Kuroo more room, let him expand his horizons, meet new people. Bokuto could no longer drag him down like he obviously had been doing for years.

His heart hurt.

It wasn’t so much the rejection that hurt. It was the knowledge that he had made a mistake that he should have been able to avoid by reading vital social cues. Of course Kuroo wasn’t interested in him. He had been blinded by his own feelings.

Of course.

It was so obvious, maybe too obvious, maybe that’s why Bokuto had gotten it wrong.

His head was still swirling later, as he lay down to sleep. It didn’t surprise him that sleep evaded him that night.

*

The following day Bokuto ignored Kuroo’s messages all morning and well into the afternoon. Kuroo was surely telling him off for being such a horrible person. He didn’t need to see it to know it. He had almost run into Kuroo around lunch time but had quickly turned the corner. Kuroo hadn’t called after him.

After his last lecture, Bokuto could no longer take it, and he opened Kuroo’s messages.

8:54 am

_Hey did you want to have lunch together? Forgot to ask_

_Oh also I had something I wanted to talk to you about_

11:46 am

_I’m headed to the cafeteria now, you free?_

12:13 pm

_Still here if you’re around!_

Bokuto spent a good 10 minutes reading each word carefully. Kuroo seemed to be acting just like usual, but that might have just been a front. What did he want to talk about? It was obvious. Kuroo must have been pretending that everything was okay so he could then tell Bokuto right to his face how much he now hated him. And he wanted to meet at the cafeteria so they wouldn’t be alone, so Kuroo wouldn’t need to feel threatened by Bokuto’s presence.

How should Bokuto react?

Maybe he was overreacting to begin with. Maybe Kuroo was simply willing to forget about what had happened, was maybe a bit creeped out by Bokuto’s sudden kiss, but Kuroo was also a forgiving guy. Maybe he had already gotten over it and Bokuto was freaking out for nothing.

He looked at Kuroo’s messages again.

They were exactly what he would have expected from Kuroo on any day. They were exactly what Kuroo usually sent him. They made it sound like Kuroo did want to see him.

And talk.

Why couldn’t Kuroo just text him what he wanted to say? Why did it need to be face-to-face? Kuroo never sent such vague messages, so it must have been meaningful here.

His phone rang, startling him into almost dropping it. Kuroo’s face was filling the screen. Bokuto quickly silenced the phone, uncertain of what to do.

“Hey, Bokuto!” he heard a very familiar voice call from behind.

How had Kuroo found him?

Oh, yeah, Kuroo knew his schedule.

He could hear Kuroo quickly approaching, and in a panic, he took off, walking briskly but not suspiciously so, hurrying around the corner before running as fast as he could, turning a different corner, into a building, ran along the corridor and only slowed down when he realised where he was.

He walked into the library. It would be easy to disappear among the shelves, and that’s what he did.

He didn’t want to know what Kuroo wanted to talk about, because there was no way it would be something good. The best-case scenario was that it was something completely unrelated to what had happened the previous night because Kuroo no longer found that a meaningful topic. That seemed rather likely, considering that Kuroo’s texts were just as friendly as they usually were, and Kuroo had bothered to search for him when he hadn’t texted back.

Kuroo had so quickly gotten over the kiss because Bokuto’s feelings didn’t matter to him.

It seemed plausible.

He looked at his phone. There were new messages from Kuroo.

3:34 pm

_I tried to catch you after class but you disappeared_

3:36 pm

_Hope everything’s ok!_

What did that mean? Obviously things were not okay, but apparently to Kuroo they were. They were okay to Kuroo because he hadn’t taken Bokuto seriously.

That’s what must have happened.

Kuroo thought it was a joke.

Bokuto did like joking around, but it did hurt him to know that Kuroo would think he’d joke about something that serious.

Or did Kuroo think he was incapable of being serious?

Was he a joke to Kuroo? Is that how Kuroo had viewed him right from the start?

Bokuto thought about this for a while and came to the conclusion that it might have been true. They had initially hit it off because of their shared sense of humour. Maybe Kuroo hadn’t wanted to delve deeper into who Bokuto was.

He looked at his phone again, then typed a message.

3:52 pm

_sorry busy day_

_i had research so went to the library_

Then he realised that he had just given away his whereabouts. He turned to leave right when Kuroo’s message lit up his phone’s screen.

3:54 pm

_Ok good to know! Did you have time to meet up later?_

Bokuto headed out of the building, then turned to take the long way home, just in case.

3:57 pm

_no sorry need to finish an essay_

He put his phone away, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and started his walk, keeping his pace brisk. He was glad he lived alone so he didn’t have to have a roommate ask him about his brooding. He would spend the rest of the day lying on the couch and maybe a TV show as background noise.

*

The next day was stressful. Kuroo’s latest text of “See you tomorrow?” was burning in his mind. He had left Kuroo on read. He wasn’t sure what kind of a message that sent. He was simply too tired to try to navigate any kind of a conversation with Kuroo without accidentally making it awkward again.

He was hiding in the library. Well, no, he wasn’t hiding, per se, he was simply hoping to have a moment to himself to think.

He was definitely hiding.

He didn’t usually spend much time in the library, so Kuroo probably wouldn’t try to look for him there.

If Kuroo would try to look for him at all. There hadn’t been any new messages since the previous day, and Bokuto both hoped and dreaded that Kuroo had given up. Maybe one day they could go back to being friends, but today was not that day. And not tomorrow. Probably not any day next week either.

Bokuto had had a crush on Kuroo for such a long time he didn’t know how long it would take him to get over it, but before he did, it would be better to stay away from Kuroo. It would be easier to forget about his feelings when Kuroo wasn’t there as a constant reminder.

“Hi,” someone said, and Bokuto jumped, his heart beating out of his chest.

He turned to look at Suga, who was watching him with a raised eyebrow.

“You’ve been jumpy lately,” Suga said.

“You keep sneaking up on me,” Bokuto muttered.

Suga snorted and sat down next to Bokuto.

“What are you doing sitting behind the farthest shelf?” he asked.

Bokuto sighed.

He might as well tell Suga what he had done. Maybe it would do him good to talk, gain some more insight into what a horrible person he was.

“I don’t want Kuroo to find me,” he said honestly.

Both of Suga’s eyebrows shot to his hairline.

“That’s new,” he said. “Why would you be hiding from Kuroo?”

Bokuto sighed again and hid his face in his hands. He didn’t know if he was strong enough to reveal what had happened. It was his mistake, his mess, and he would have to wallow in it alone.

“He hates me,” he said, voice severely muffled by his hands.

“Right.”

It went silent. Someone was quietly walking close-by, browsing books, otherwise that corner of the library was empty. Slowly the footsteps receded, until they were gone.

“What makes you think that Kuroo hates you?” Suga asked.

Bokuto finally lowered his hands and glanced at him.

“I messed up bad,” he said.

“I’m sure Kuroo will forgive you,” Suga immediately replied. “You’ve been friends for so long. And I mean, you’d forgive him if he messed up, right?”

Bokuto bit his lip and looked down to his lap.

“I don’t know if I would,” he said.

“Okay,” Suga said. “What did you do?”

Bokuto looked at him from his peripheral vision to get his immediate reaction.

“I kissed him,” he said.

Suddenly the situation felt ridiculous. Here he was, talking to Suga about kissing Kuroo in such fatalistic voice, sitting at the farthest corner of the library, hiding behind a bookshelf because he thought it was the last place Kuroo would come looking for him. He almost wanted to laugh, but then again, he had lost his best friend. There was nothing funny about it.

“I feel like I’m still missing something important here,” Suga said. “You kissed him. And suddenly he hates you? Why? Did he say something?”

Bokuto let out his biggest sigh yet and threw his head back, banging it against the wall that was closer than he had anticipated.

“He told me to stop,” he said. “And then he said nothing.”

“He must have said something,” Suga insisted.

Bokuto shook his head.

“He said nothing,” he repeated. “He went back to studying for a while, then left without acknowledging that anything happened.”

For a moment it was quiet.

“Doesn’t sound like he was angry,” Suga then said.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Bokuto asked almost desperately. “He told me he didn’t want to kiss me. Then said nothing more. He hates me.”

“I don’t think he does,” Suga said. “Have you talked to him since?”

Bokuto shook his head.

“We texted a bit,” he said. “But nothing about what happened.”

Suga hummed and thought for a while.

“What did you talk about, then?” he asked.

Bokuto shrugged.

“He asked if I wanted to hang out,” he said.

Suga rolled his eyes.

“There you go,” he said. “He doesn’t hate you since he wants to hang out.”

“He also said we should talk,” Bokuto said.

Suga looked thoroughly unimpressed.

“He probably wants to talk about the kiss face to face,” he said. “Is that the real reason you’re hiding from him? You’re scared of having that conversation?”

“What kind of a conversation could it possibly be?” Bokuto asked, voice a bit too loud.

Suga shushed him and he slumped against the wall.

“Maybe he wants to explain why he didn’t say anything immediately,” Suga suggested. “You can’t know unless you talk to him. But to me it sounds like he doesn’t hate you.”

“_Why he didn’t say anything immediately_,” Bokuto repeated mockingly. “Obviously it’s because he didn’t want to be kissing me. Why else would he have pushed me away and told me to stop?”

This time, it was Suga who sighed.

“I’m not him, I don’t know,” he said. “You really should talk to him.”

“I don’t want to,” Bokuto said, too honestly.

Suga gently leaned against him.

“You’ll have to face him some time,” he said. “The more you wait the harder it’s going to get. If he really hated you, I’m sure he would have made it clear with words.”

Bokuto didn’t say anything, merely gave half a shrug in response. He didn’t think Suga really understood the situation. He hadn’t been there, he hadn’t seen the look of disappointment on Kuroo’s face, how much Kuroo didn’t like the situation, how much Kuroo hadn’t wanted to kiss Bokuto at all.

“You can’t keep running away forever,” Suga said. “Eventually a conversation will have to happen. And what if it’s going to be a good conversation? What if he… well, what if he just wanted to tell you that he was so confused he didn’t know what to say?”

“That doesn’t change the fact that he hated it,” Bokuto said.

He was starting to feel miserable. He wanted to go home and lie in bed for a few weeks. Maybe after that things would look better.

“Well, what if he didn’t hate it?” Suga asked. “I’m sure you can have a grown-up conversation about it. Oh, but you just don’t want to be rejected again, do you.”

Bokuto felt himself deflate with Suga’s words. Suga sat up straighter so he could place a comforting hand on Bokuto’s shoulder.

“Being rejected sucks,” he said. “But you’re going to have to go through it. There will be someone who won’t reject you. Sometimes it just takes time.”

Bokuto nodded sadly.

“I just wish it was him,” he whispered.

“I know,” Suga said and squeezed Bokuto’s shoulder. “And I have to say I’m surprised by this outcome. When I look at the two of you together you look like you’re a couple already.”

Bokuto slid lower against the wall.

“Ah, that was probably not the best thing to say right now,” Suga said. “I’m sorry. I’m just so surprised. Are you sure he said he didn’t want to kiss you?”

“How could I not be sure about what he said?” Bokuto asked.

“Yeah,” was all Suga said in response.

They continued to sit in silence, until Suga had to go and do whatever it was he had been doing before running into Bokuto. Bokuto sat in his corner until he got too restless and walked home.

*

The next day was just as horrible as the day before. Bokuto hadn’t slept well, having tossed and turned most of the night. He was irritated and kept nodding off throughout his first class. Once the class was finally over, he caught a glimpse of Kuroo in the hallway and made an abrupt turn to avoid running into him. It was a good thing that there were so many people around; it was easy to get lost in the crowd.

He figured that Kuroo would try again during lunch, so he spent the entire time hiding in the library. He would rather go hungry than meet Kuroo at a crowded cafeteria and end up causing a scene when he would inevitably burst to tears once Kuroo told him they could no longer be friends because Bokuto was disgusting and couldn’t control himself.

He left to his class late on purpose, hoping it would help him avoid Kuroo, who might be waiting. He was right.

He was also hungry and couldn’t concentrate.

He didn’t know how he could possibly pass his classes if he couldn’t concentrate. It was all because of Kuroo. Maybe it would be beneficial for him to simply let it go.

He was so hungry by the end of the class that he forgot to look around for Kuroo. He only remembered after he had stepped outside and heard someone call his name. Kuroo was waving at him, trying to make his way to him through the crowd. Bokuto turned on his heel and went back in. He would go through the other door.

Then he wondered if Kuroo would try to meet him there. Kuroo could be persistent when he wanted to be. It was safer to head back to the library, hide there for a while, then go home.

Which was exactly what he did. He wandered amongst the shelves, thoughts a bit of a blur. He was still hungry and would have to at least buy a sandwich before going home.

He ate as he walked, slowly making his way home. He was exhausted. He would skip all assignments and go to sleep. It was Friday so he could sleep around the clock without worries. He dragged his feet up the stairs. A day had never felt longer to him.

Bokuto sighed and turned towards his apartment. Except, Kuroo was standing there. Of course Kuroo was standing there. Bokuto turned around immediately, but Kuroo had noticed him.

“Wait!” Kuroo said. “Bokuto, please! Please, talk to me.”

Hearing Kuroo so desperate made Bokuto stop on his tracks. He didn’t quite understand what was going on in Kuroo’s head, but he seemed to be adamant about talking to Bokuto. Maybe Suga was right and they should talk. Maybe it was better to have the conversation, then they could part ways under clearer terms.

He didn’t want to hear it from Kuroo, though, didn’t want to be told that he wasn’t good enough, that he was stupid and immature and probably ugly to boot. He didn’t want to walk past Kuroo and feel his warmth against his arm, but he had to. He was so tense that his hands were nearly shaking as he opened the door.

Once inside, he wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t want to sit on the bed and make things worse by implying that he wanted Kuroo there. But there weren’t many seating options available, which meant that he would have to sit on the couch with Kuroo, and he didn’t want to force Kuroo into such close proximity to him.

Kuroo sat down on the couch. Bokuto wondered if he should sit on the floor, it would give them more distance. And it would put him below Kuroo, which is where he belonged.

He sat on the couch anyway but made sure to stay as far away from Kuroo as he possibly could. He didn’t want to look at Kuroo, didn’t want to see the look of disgust on his face for being forced to sit so close to Bokuto.

Kuroo cleared his throat.

“So,” he said. “You didn’t text me back.”

Bokuto didn’t know what to say, so he just grunted. Kuroo probably already knew why it had happened. Maybe it was just a conversation starter, not a genuine statement.

“I failed to catch you on campus,” Kuroo said. “Uh.”

Bokuto closed his eyes.

It was absolutely torture hearing Kuroo have to force his words out because he didn’t want to be around Bokuto so much. Why had he even come? Why did Kuroo want to torture himself like this? Maybe it was a necessary conversation because Kuroo wanted to tell him to stay away.

“Can’t we go back to the way things were?” Kuroo then asked, almost desperately. “Can’t we just forget that anything ever happened?”

And there it was. Kuroo had only come here because he wanted Bokuto’s friendship but nothing more, yet he was also disgusted by Bokuto kissing him. Could they even be friends any longer?

He finally allowed himself to feel how his heart broke.


	2. Chapter 2

Kuroo was tired.

He was so tired of the paper he had to write, the deadline at midnight, and he felt like he had hardly even started it. At least he had done most of the reading, he simply needed to organise the information, write it out, have thoughts about the topic, write it out.

He checked his notes, scrolling down the long document and not finding the words he was looking for. He knew he had read about this, where were the notes?

He squinted at the screen, then finally found the right part.

Put it into your own words. Discuss.

He had pretty much completely forgotten he was with Bokuto, so it startled him when he saw Bokuto move in his peripheral vision. He sighed. Clearly he was too deep in his head to be properly focused. He stretched, turned to look at Bokuto, who seemed restless.

“Getting tired?” he asked.

The way Bokuto sat made him smile. There was something so inherently innocent about it, how it made such a big guy look so young. But Bokuto’s face was intense, even more than usual. His eyes were a burn, and Kuroo shivered at the way they felt on his skin. They stopped on his lips, he could tell, he could tell.

“No,” Bokuto said.

He swallowed. Bokuto leaned into him, and there were lips on his mouth.

Bokuto was kissing him.

Bokuto’s kiss was warm and sweet, and Kuroo immediately melted into it, turned his head for a better angle. It was better than what his imagination had ever conjured up. Bokuto was a solid presence beside him, hands on his shoulders, and he wanted to pull Bokuto closer.

He lifted his arm, and his elbow bumped into his laptop.

Oh, crap. The paper!

He would have given anything to be able to continue kissing the living daylights out of Bokuto, but he was already so stressed out over finishing his paper that with great reluctance he placed his hand on Bokuto’s shoulder and pushed him away.

“Bokuto, not now” he said, and his voice revealed exactly how much the kiss had turned him on. “Let’s finish our homework first, okay?”

Bokuto was staring at him, dumbfounded, and he really wanted to lean back in and kiss the look off Bokuto’s face.

“Y- Yeah,” Bokuto then managed and cleared his throat.

He was so cute it was practically killing Kuroo that he didn’t have the time to lay him down on the damn floor and kiss him senseless.

“Yeah, sorry,” Bokuto said, turning back to his book.

Kuroo smiled at him. Bokuto was always so thoughtful, always so ready to accommodate to what others needed. Once his paper was written, Kuroo was going to make sure that Bokuto got exactly what he needed. Which, coincidentally, was also what Kuroo needed. He needed to finally kiss Bokuto like he had always dreamed about.

With these thoughts he returned to his computer and the paper.

The kiss had made him feel lighter, and he felt like he was working more efficiently now. Maybe it had resolved the tension that had been lingering between them for years now, the want for something more but no courage to take it. Kuroo felt like now he could breathe easier, like the world had shifted just enough for everything to finally click into place, and his heart was smiling at the knowledge that Bokuto did feel for him the same that he felt for Bokuto.

He was just getting to the flow of writing, when his laptop warned him of low battery.

And at that moment he suddenly remembered how he hadn’t remembered to pack the charger with him.

“Oh crap,” he said out loud, and couldn’t suppress a yawn. “I forgot the charger. I guess this is all I’m going to get done here.”

Bokuto looked like Kuroo had interrupted his work flow, and Kuroo grimaced internally. He knew that sometimes Bokuto had a hard time concentrating, and he felt bad for interrupting when Bokuto was finally getting work done.

“Too bad,” Bokuto said, clearly trying to hang on to the focus Kuroo had disrupted.

“I guess it’s getting late anyway,” Kuroo said, getting anxious over his deadline again. “I should head home.”

How many hours did he have before midnight? Only four. How could he possibly get the paper written in time?

“Yeah,” Bokuto mumbled, distracted by his book.

Kuroo didn’t say anything more to let Bokuto keep at least the bit of concentration he still had. He quickly packed his things.

“See you tomorrow,” he said softly, as if that way he wouldn’t disturb Bokuto as much.

“Yeah,” Bokuto replied.

He was starting to sound annoyed, so Kuroo decided it was time to leave. He could brainstorm on his way home, get his thoughts in order, and then it would be easy to simply write it all down. He might just make it before midnight.

And he did. He sent in his paper with seven minutes to spare, then leaned back in his chair with a big sigh. His roommate snickered.

“Cutting it a bit close, huh?” Matsukawa asked.

Kuroo snorted.

“Could have been closer,” he said and yawned. “I’m beat. I’m going to bed”

“I’ll be a while longer,” Matsukawa said.

It was only after Kuroo had lain down that his thoughts turned back to Bokuto and their kiss. His cheeks heated up with the thought.

Bokuto’s lips had been so soft and warm, Bokuto had felt so good against him, and he wanted to go back to that moment, bask in the feeling of finally having what he had so long desired.

Did this mean that Bokuto was his boyfriend?

Kuroo suddenly realised that they hadn’t talked about it. At all. He had been so preoccupied with his work that he hadn’t really told Bokuto how much he had enjoyed the kiss, and then, of course, Bokuto had been on one of his rare bouts of intense concentration and Kuroo couldn’t have even dreamed of interrupting his work flow.

Well, there was plenty of time for discussions. Kuroo had an earlier morning than Bokuto, but they could probably get lunch together and then they would talk.

Kuroo fell asleep with a smile on his face and heart swelling with happiness.

*

Kuroo didn’t want to know how many times he had checked his phone by lunch. Bokuto hadn’t read his messages yet, which was actually pretty worrying now that he thought about it. Usually Bokuto didn’t take long to respond, sometimes did so even during class, so his silence was unusual.

It was probably nothing. There was a reason for it, Kuroo was sure. Maybe Bokuto was just insanely busy, nothing bad had happened, Bokuto was fine. Maybe he had overslept. Maybe he had forgotten his phone at home when leaving in a hurry.

There were so many possibilities, there was no reason for Kuroo to jump to the worst conclusions.

Still, he couldn’t stop checking his phone.

When there had been no word from Bokuto by the time Kuroo’s last class finished, he decided the best course of action was to seek Bokuto out. He knew where Bokuto was, he might as well try to catch him. See for himself that everything was fine, Bokuto just forgot to charge his phone the previous night.

He tried calling Bokuto, just in case. There was no answer. Kuroo hurried towards the right building and saw Bokuto standing outside.

“Bokuto!” he called.

There were too many people around and he lost sight of Bokuto, and by the time he had made it to where he had seen Bokuto, Bokuto was gone. Kuroo tried to look around but couldn’t even begin to guess where Bokuto might have gone to.

Well, at least he now knew that Bokuto was fine and alive. Nothing to worry about there. And this clearly proved that for one reason or another Bokuto simply hadn’t gotten his messages.

He sent a new one anyway.

Kuroo started heading home and was surprised to find his phone vibrating. Bokuto had finally texted him back.

3:52 pm

_sorry busy day_

_i had research so went to the library_

Kuroo sighed in relief. This further proved that everything was fine, he was just paranoid. With a second sigh of relief, he sent a new message.

3:54 pm

_Ok good to know! Did you have time to meet up later?_

Kuroo was still headed home, but had slowed down, just in case. Maybe Bokuto had finished for the day, even though he had only just gone to the library. Maybe he only went in to quickly get a book.

To his disappointment, Bokuto’s answer was:

_no sorry need to finish an essay_

With a small pout Kuroo sped up to his normal speed.

3:58 pm

_Ok, see you tomorrow?_

Kuroo watched a small tick appear, letting him know that Bokuto had read the message, then nothing. Bokuto wasn’t typing. Kuroo was left on read.

Bokuto must have been super busy with his essay. Kuroo wished that they studied the same fields so he could help Bokuto. Instead, he could only hope that Bokuto was still keeping up with his studies. Maybe tomorrow he should ask if Bokuto wanted him to read some of the material for him, since Bokuto wasn’t that good with memorising by reading.

Then again, maybe Bokuto was on such a tight deadline that he wouldn’t even have time to hang out. Kuroo should have asked, but he also didn’t want to disturb any more than he already had. He could certainly wait until Bokuto got back to him.

*

The only issue with Kuroo’s plan of waiting for Bokuto to contact him first was that Bokuto didn’t contact him first. When it had been full 24 hours since the last contact, Kuroo opened the message app, then closed it.

Maybe Bokuto was just really, really busy. He shouldn’t interrupt. He could go a couple of days without constant contact with Bokuto. Who happened to be his long-term crush. Who also happened to be his possible boyfriend.

Kuroo groaned.

He really wanted to talk to Bokuto about what they were. If they hadn’t clearly discussed it, could he think of them as boyfriends or should he wait?

Maybe Bokuto only wanted to be friends with benefits. Maybe the kiss had been brought on by intense stress and the need to feel close to someone while everything else was making him feel helpless.

Maybe Bokuto was regretting it.

Kuroo’s eyes widened. Maybe that was it. It would explain why Bokuto had kept such a distance, why his messages had been so… well, not unusual, just so few. It would explain why Kuroo suddenly felt like he was down one friend.

“Don’t be stupid,” he told himself out loud.

“Well, sorry,” Matsukawa piped up from the other side of the room.

Kuroo sighed and turned to look at him.

“Not you,” he said unnecessarily. “Me. I’m being stupid.”

“That’s new,” Matsukawa said and turned to look at Kuroo. “Want to share?”

Kuroo bit his lip. He hadn’t exactly come out to Matsukawa, and he wasn’t sure how Matsukawa felt about people being gay. It might compromise the easy-going atmosphere they had developed.

But he also badly wanted to discuss what had happened, and since Bokuto was currently unavailable for that discussion, he would have to find someone else.

“It’s just that,” he said and sighed, “the other day Bokuto kissed me but we didn’t talk about it, and now it kind of seems like he’s avoiding me.”

Matsukawa went quiet, his smile dropping. Kuroo felt a twinge of fear. Maybe it had been a mistake to say it was Bokuto. He could have been unclear about who exactly had kissed him, although he was quite sure that Matsukawa knew he didn’t have very many female friends.

“That doesn’t sound good,” Matsukawa said. “Why didn’t you talk about it in the first place?”

Kuroo groaned and threw his head back.

“It’s so stupid,” he said. “I was so busy with that paper and it was all I could think about, so we… I… Well, we didn’t talk right after it happened because I needed to write. And then later Bokuto had one of his rare bouts of concentration and I didn’t want to interrupt it, so I just left.”

Matsukawa snorted and Kuroo turned his head to throw him a dirty look.

“I’m sorry,” Matsukawa said. “You’re just always so put-together, it’s kind of nice to hear you’re a disaster in some areas.”

Kuroo rolled his eyes and sighed.

“What do you mean he’s been avoiding you?” Matsukawa asked.

“I’m not saying he has,” Kuroo said. “Just… Yesterday he took all day before texting me and when he did, he didn’t say much, and it was such few messages too. And he hasn’t texted me since.”

“And has he read your messages?” Matsukawa asked.

“Well, the last one, yes,” Kuroo said. “But he said he’s busy with an essay, so I haven’t sent him anything since. I figured he’d text me once he has the time. But he usually makes time for me anyway.”

“But you just figured it’s best to not try messaging him again?” Matsukawa asked. “Why would you do that? If he’s busy, he’s not going to read it, but if he’s just… I don’t know, insecure? Maybe he needs to feel that you’re still okay with him.”

“Why would he be insecure?” Kuroo asked, genuinely confused.

Matsukawa snorted, but after taking a look at Kuroo’s face, rolled his eyes.

“How long have you known him, exactly?” he asked. “I don’t personally know him, but even I know about his insecurity in volleyball, which he’s great at. Why wouldn’t that translate to his life in general?”

Kuroo blinked a few times.

“That’s not…” he tried. “He’s not… Well, maybe, but…”

He went quiet.

Could Bokuto be feeling insecure? Could that be it?

“Why would he feel insecure about this?” Kuroo asked. “I kissed him back. And I texted him the next morning. I only stopped after he said he’s busy.”

“Well, it was just a suggestion,” Matsukawa said. “How would I know. Just text him and ask him to hang out.”

Kuroo glanced at his phone that was, tragically, still void of new messages from Bokuto.

“I don’t want to seem like I’m pressuring,” he said.

“Why would he take it as pressure?” Matsukawa asked. “You’re friends! It’s expected for you to want to hang out. And especially if that kiss meant something.”

Kuroo frowned in thought.

Maybe Matsukawa was right. He and Bokuto were friends, they had been friends for a long time now. They were best friends, even. Obviously, he would want to hang out. Why would Bokuto think it’s not okay to say he’s busy? He had done that before too.

“Maybe I’m just nervous,” Kuroo said out loud. “Because we didn’t talk, I don’t know what he’s thinking. What if he didn’t mean it? What if he doesn’t want anything with me?”

“From seeing how you two act together,” Matsukawa said, already having turned back towards his desk, “I’d say he definitely meant it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kuroo asked.

Matsukawa stayed quiet.

Kuroo sighed and turned towards his own desk as well.

Maybe he should text Bokuto. He opened the message app and looked at his last message.

_See you tomorrow?_

And Bokuto had never replied.

Had he forgotten?

Or did he really not want to see Kuroo again?

*

Kuroo had been restless all night, which meant it was a mostly sleepless night, but it had also helped him decide that he would seek out Bokuto in person. His schedule for the day was lenient, so he would have the time.

He first tried in the morning, but Bokuto just entered the classroom before Kuroo made it to him, and Kuroo didn’t want to cause a scene by going in himself. So, he went and waited nearby.

When Bokuto’s class was over, Kuroo caught sight of him, but as he hurried towards Bokuto, Bokuto turned around and headed somewhere else. There were so many people in the hallway, that Kuroo quickly lost sight of Bokuto.

The next time he tried during lunch. He went through all the cafeterias, no sight of Bokuto. He even took a look at the places surrounding the campus but didn’t find Bokuto. At that point it was getting late too, so he missed Bokuto before his next class as well.

Was he crazy? He had spent the entire day running after Bokuto just because for some reason he had decided it was better than sending a simple message. Wasn’t he acting ridiculously?

Kuroo sat on a bench and stared into the distance.

Maybe he was a bit sleep-deprived, maybe that’s why he was acting so irrationally. He had been quite stressed out lately. Maybe that had scrambled his brain.

Although, it would be more romantic to talk to Bokuto face to face rather than send him a message.

And Kuroo missed Bokuto. It had only been a couple of days, but he already missed hanging out and being around Bokuto. They had been best friends for such a long time Kuroo had gotten used to nearly always being around Bokuto.

He was dozing on and off, when he was startled awake by a sudden flood of people. Bokuto’s class must have ended. Kuroo hurried towards the right building and saw Bokuto step outside.

“Bokuto!” he shouted and waved.

Bokuto looked straight at him, then turned abruptly and disappeared back inside.

Kuroo slowly lowered his arm and came to a stop.

That was… odd.

Maybe Bokuto had forgotten something in the classroom? Maybe he hadn’t actually seen Kuroo, had just happened to look his way, and that’s why… and that’s why he…

Kuroo shook his head.

It didn’t make any sense for Bokuto to run away from him, so it must have been something else, but he was having a hard time coming up with probable causes.

Could it be that Bokuto really did regret the kiss?

Kuroo didn’t want to believe it, because it seemed so unlike Bokuto to do something, even on a whim, that he didn’t really want to do. But maybe that was the problem; maybe Bokuto had really wanted to do it but was afraid of what it meant. They had never really discussed their views on different sexualities, so Kuroo didn’t know exactly what was going on in Bokuto’s head, but Bokuto did know that Kuroo was gay.

Maybe the issue was that Bokuto hadn’t known that he himself was also interested in men.

Kuroo thought about all the times Bokuto had had a crush on a girl. He had never in any way made it appear like he might be interested in men, apart from the flirting with Kuroo.

It seemed like a plausible answer, so Kuroo decided to stick with it. It sounded much nicer than Bokuto avoiding him because Bokuto disliked him.

He spent some time wandering around campus, but when there was no sign of Bokuto anywhere, he decided to head to Bokuto’s apartment. Bokuto usually headed home quickly on Fridays, it made sense for him to do so today as well.

When Kuroo stood behind Bokuto’s door, he froze. What if Bokuto didn’t actually want to see him? What if Bokuto really had been avoiding him and he wasn’t taking the hint?

Was he coming off desperate?

He shook his head. Those were stupid thoughts. Bokuto was his friend. Bokuto knew him. And he knew Bokuto. His actions wouldn’t be misconstrued as something they weren’t.

With that thought, he rang the doorbell. Then waited.

And waited.

It seemed that Bokuto either wasn’t home or didn’t want to answer the door.

He probably wasn’t at home.

Right when Kuroo established that, he heard someone come up the stairs. He turned towards the sound, nearly holding his breath. It would be too convenient if it was Bokuto. There was no way it was Bokuto.

The moment Bokuto came into view and noticed Kuroo, his eyes widened, and he turned back to the stairs.

“Wait!” Kuroo cried. “Bokuto, please! Please, talk to me.”

Bokuto stopped, just one foot on the first step. His eyes were downcast, and he was biting his lip, thinking.

It filled Kuroo with dread to know that Bokuto had to think that much about talking to Kuroo.

Slowly, as if the thought was utterly repulsive to him, Bokuto stepped back up and turned towards Kuroo. He didn’t look at Kuroo, simply made his way to the door, unlocked it, and went in without checking if Kuroo followed.

They were quiet, the atmosphere tense in a way it had never been before. Bokuto seemed lost, unable to decide where to settle, so Kuroo went and sat down on the couch, hoping that it would help Bokuto put his mind at ease at least on that front.

It took some time, but eventually Bokuto was also sitting on the couch, on the other end and leaning away from Kuroo.

It didn’t seem promising to Kuroo’s scenarios in which Bokuto had just been nervous.

Bokuto no longer wanted to be in the same room with him.

Fuck.

Kuroo cleared his throat.

“So,” he said, and cringed at the way his voice sounded so defeated. “I just… You didn’t text me back.”

Bokuto grunted, then went quiet.

“I failed to catch you on campus,” Kuroo said, then abruptly stopped, noticing that he was going to ramble, which he always did when he was nervous. “Uh.”

He was fiddling with his fingers, unable to look at Bokuto, who was so clearly… disgusted by him.

Had it really been Bokuto who kissed Kuroo? Maybe Kuroo had been so stressed out that his memory had twisted the events, and maybe it had been Kuroo who kissed Bokuto. That would explain everything. Kuroo had accidentally let his inhibitions go, hadn’t considered that maybe the fact that Bokuto had only ever had an eye to women might mean that he wasn’t interested in Kuroo.

“Can’t we go back to the way things were?” Kuroo asked, disliking the clear desperation in his voice. “Can’t we just forget anything ever happened? I’m sorry I kissed you. I… I don’t want you to hate me.”

He was intensely staring at his own fingers, tangling them together into tight knots.

“I’ll,” he continued, “I’ll eventually get over you. You don’t have to worry. I’m sorry.”

For a moment it was quiet.

“What?” Bokuto asked then, voice so quiet that Kuroo wasn’t certain he hadn’t imagined it.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated anyway. “I’ll get over you now that I know you don’t like me back. I just want to be friends again.”

“What?” Bokuto asked again, this time louder.

“You’re my best friend, Bokuto,” Kuroo said, close to tears now. “I don’t want to lose you over this.”

“Wait,” Bokuto said, and Kuroo lifted his head enough to glance at his incredulous face. “Why are _you_ apologising? I’m the one who kissed you.”

“Then why did you start avoiding me?” Kuroo asked, voice so small he didn’t think it had sounded like that since he was a little kid.

Bokuto spluttered, and Kuroo lifted his head a bit more to turn to look at him. Bokuto was frowning.

“You…” Bokuto started, then took a moment to move his mouth without saying anything. “You! It… You pushed me away! You told me you didn’t want it!”

It was Kuroo’s turn to look incredulous.

“What?” he asked.

“You told me to stop,” Bokuto said.

Kuroo stared at him. He thought about that day. He thought about the way Bokuto had kissed him so sweetly. He thought about his paper. He thought about the way he had pulled away from the kiss, pushed Bokuto a bit, and told him to stop.

“You told me to just do my homework,” Bokuto said.

Kuroo’s mouth fell open.

“Oh my god,” he gasped. “Oh my god, Bokuto! I didn’t mean it like that! I just… I was so… The paper! I was running late, and I really needed to finish!”

“But you left without saying anything,” Bokuto said, still frowning.

“Because you were so focused on your reading,” Kuroo said. “I didn’t want to interrupt because I know how hard it is for you to find the right state for reading.”

Bokuto opened his mouth, but all that came out was a strangled peep. He closed his mouth again, licked his lips, his eyes looked absolutely wild.

“But,” he then managed. “I was… I was devastated because I thought you didn’t want to be kissing me! I… I don’t think I read a word that day. I thought… You just…”

Kuroo sighed and let his face relax. Bokuto looked close to tears.

“I’m sorry, Bokuto,” Kuroo said. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make it seem that way. I was just so preoccupied with the damn paper I didn’t even realise how you might have viewed my actions as rejection.”

Bokuto had turned his head down and Kuroo wondered if he was crying.

“I’m sorry,” he said again.

Then he shifted closer and pulled Bokuto against him. They sat there for a while, Kuroo hugging Bokuto’s head and Bokuto sniffling quietly every now and again.

“I was so damn happy when you kissed me,” Kuroo then said, voice soft. “I wanted to do nothing more than just kiss you, and that stupid paper was cockblocking me.”

“Lipblocking,” Bokuto mumbled against Kuroo’s chest.

Kuroo laughed.

“Yeah,” he said. “You know, when I went to sleep that night it was all I could think about. And I was already wondering if I can call you my boyfriend now that we finally acted on our… I don’t even know what to call it.”

“I’m sorry for avoiding you,” Bokuto said. “I just couldn’t figure out why you were acting so normal. It was pretty scary.”

Kuroo thought about the messages he had sent to Bokuto in that context and could see how Bokuto had probably seen them as dismissive or passive-aggressive.

“Okay,” he said, “from now on we make sure to talk about things rather than just assume.”

Bokuto nodded.

“I’ll start,” Kuroo said, “and ask you an important question.”

He waited for Bokuto to nod again.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?” Kuroo asked.

Bokuto lifted his head to look at Kuroo. Kuroo wiped his cheeks dry of tears. Bokuto’s lashes were still wet.

“Yeah,” Bokuto said quietly.

Even if he wanted to, Kuroo couldn’t have stopped the smile that spread over his face.

“And,” he then asked, “can I kiss you again?”

“Yeah,” Bokuto breathed.

Bokuto had a tentative smile on his face, like he could hardly believe how things had turned out. Kuroo could imagine that he might feel the same way if he was in Bokuto’s shoes.

He stroked Bokuto’s cheek with a thumb and leaned in to bring their lips together. The kiss tasted like tears, but Kuroo hoped this was the last time it happened like this. He never wanted to be the reason to Bokuto’s tears again.

Bokuto whimpered into the kiss and Kuroo pulled him closer, wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Bokuto was a good kisser, his lips and tongue sliding against Kuroo’s, and Kuroo’s heart was swelling with affection as Bokuto pressed closer to him, hands warm against his back.

Kuroo sank his fingers into Bokuto’s hair and slowly leaned down, pulling Bokuto with him, until they were lying on the couch and Bokuto was a warm weight over him. Bokuto’s tongue was in his mouth and he moaned, embarrassingly so happy to be kissing Bokuto that he was starting to get hard.

For a moment he contemplated breaking the kiss to kiss down Bokuto’s neck and hoping it would be enough to calm him down, but with a mental shrug he discarded the idea. Let him get hard from a simple kiss. Maybe it would help Bokuto see how much he wanted him.

And maybe, just maybe, they spent the rest of the day lying on the couch kissing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm restless so here's chapter two!

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason Suga is always the first person I think of when I need a friend for someone in a fic. And, in fact, I first rejected him from this fic, but I was writing the second chapter before I wrote the scenes with Suga in this chapter, so he ended up only being rejected as Kuroo's roommate.
> 
> This was somewhat inspired by [this vld AU](https://twitter.com/slouph_art/status/1177931918496583680).
> 
> I technically have the second chapter finished already, I'm just still a bit hesitant about how to end it.
> 
> I'm on [Twitter](http://twitter.com/mean_whale) and sometimes I ask what people want to read next.


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